Feeling Heard (or Unheard) at Work - Research

In this episode, I delve a bit deeper into the theme of Feeling Heard at Work. This is a brief follow-up introduction to a two-part series recently published in my Leadership Bebop Substack newsletter. The articles, and this episode, address workplace communication in the context of the hit TV Show, the Bear. I also offer some background on what inspired me to write about this.

Leadership Bebop,  with host Randy Evans
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Transcript

Welcome back to Leadership Bebop.

How often do you really feel heard in your workplace? Are you practicing effective listening in your interactions so the other person feels heard? In a two-part series on my recently launched Leadership Bebop Substack newsletter, I explore this theme, tying this into the hit FX TV Show, the Bear. In this follow-up podcast episode, I want to delve a bit deeper into this theme, and offer some background on what inspired me to write about this.

I have three children, two sons and a daughter, all in their twenties. I’m constantly amazed at what they teach me: profound life lessons, health and fitness advice, new developments in science and technology, and entertainment tips. Spending time with them brings immense joy and optimism, and I’m deeply grateful for each of them.

Last summer, my younger son told me about The Bear, the FX TV series streaming on Hulu. He enjoyed the show’s culinary focus, incredible writing, engaging plot, and compelling characters. My older son had also finished the first season and pointed me to a crucial theme in the show about communication and “feeling heard” in the workplace.

After watching the first season, I decided to write about this theme, feeling heard at work, tying this into my work on team communication and constructive conflict engagement. Season 2 recently dropped on Hulu and also contains many life and business leadership lessons. In my recently launched Leadership Bebop Substack newsletter, I revisit the first season to explore this theme of feeling heard at work and the value of engaged listening.

The Bear, created by Christopher Storer, centers on an award-winning ‘rising star’ chef, “Carmy” (Jeremy Allen White), who leaves the fine dining world to run the small, disorganized, financially strapped Chicago deli left to him by his older brother Michael (Jon Bernthal), who died by suicide.

The show takes viewers on an emotional roller-coaster ride, with many tense moments, fiery arguments, lots of profanity, lighthearted humor, and deeply serious topics.

Through a gritty and meticulous exploration of the deli’s kitchen and the messy lives of its staff, The Bear offers many practical lessons, including insights on how we can still come together even in hard times.

Philosopher Martin Heidegger suggested that “angst,” the generalized sense of apprehension or unease that we all experience, is essential for understanding everyday life. He also argued that “care” – our concerns, devotion, intentions, feelings, and interest in our own existence – is the practical connection that unites us in our shared experiences, giving meaning to the various aspects of our being in the world.

Now, I DO understand the futility of trying to summarize Heidegger’s philosophy in one short paragraph. But the entirety of the TV show The Bear feels Heideggerian. For a fuller exploration of Heidegger’s work, check out the links in the show notes. And I hope to do a future episode that focuses specifically on how every aspect of the human experience is changing due to advances in science and technology, tying this idea into the work of Heidegger and other phenomenologists.

This deep sense of unease that Heidegger describes is entwined in all of life’s pursuits and colors the complicated realities of our relationships (with ourselves and others). This is on full display in The Bear.

Throughout the first season, the dialogue and storylines explore this dynamic of evolving self-awareness, discovering purpose, and shared efforts to build meaningful relationships and make sense of the world together.

There is no “work-life balance” among the show’s characters (this is a central theme in Season 2); no division between life in the kitchen and the characters’ personal lives; it all melds together. In this sense and many other ways, The Bear feels like a microcosm of the modern global workplace.

Communication among the workers is messy, awkward, and frequently chaotic. No one seems to be listening.

The kitchen staff in The Bear frequently say “heard” and “yes, chef,” acknowledgments common in commercial kitchens (or so I’m told). Yet it is clear that the characters do not feel heard. This dichotomy is brought center stage in Episode 3 of the first season (discussed in detail in Part I of my article).

Midway through the episode, Carmy, the new owner and head chef of the Beef, hastily exits the deli, leaving Sydney, his sous chef, to enforce a new French Brigade hierarchy, though it is clear the staff is not fully prepared for the change.

At the end of the shift, Carmy joins Sydney, who is sitting outside the deli. During their exchange, Sydney homes in on this theme of not feeling heard:

When I said I didn’t think the brigade was a good idea, you didn't listen. And it's not that you told me that I had to. That's fine. Whatever. But… But you just didn't really listen.

And… If this is going to work the way that we both want it to work, she says, I think we should probably try to listen to each other.

The Bear is a compelling example of the complexities of workplace communication and how someone's interpretation of whether they are listening can differ greatly from whether a colleague actually feels heard.

A recent study on workplace communication explores this distinction in detail, demonstrating that engaged listening is sufficient for someone to feel heard in some situations. In other situations, though, acknowledging someone during the initial exchange, and even demonstrating good listening, may be inadequate. In these situations, taking action or following through on promises or commitments may be required for the other person to feel heard.

Part 2 of my two-part Substack newsletter examines a recent study of workplace communication, emphasizing the significance of listening and the various contexts that affect employees’ impressions of being heard (or unheard) in workplace conversations.

I hope you enjoy my thoughts on the show’s insights and this important research on workplace communication. I’d love to hear your insights, thoughts, and experiences. And be sure to subscribe to this Podcast and the newsletter, and share this with your friends and colleagues.

I really appreciate your support as I continue to work to get this off the ground.